The secret to hard performance conversations
How to make hard performance conversations feel less hard.
👋 Howdy! Claire here, CEO of Canopy. After out being out holiday last week, I’m back with a brand new original writing here on our Canopy Newsletter 🎉 For my latest learnings and takes on leadership, be sure to subscribe below if you haven’t already…
Do you feel it?
The unpleasant, sinking, pit-in-the-stomach sensation.
Few things induce that feeling as needing to have a hard performance conversation with one of your direct reports.
Someone’s performance is inconsistent, so now you need to say something…
You already feel the dread.
Is there a way to make it easier?
Short answer: Yes. Performance conversations do not have to feel so taxing, so uncomfortable.
There are 3 counterintuitive truths – I call them “secrets” because of how overlooked they are – that can help reduce the friction of hard performance conversations for yourself as a leader.
Without further ado…
Secret #1: Everyone wants redemption.
No one likes performing poorly. Mull on that for a moment. This means if your direct report is underperforming, they don’t want to stay in this state of underperformance. They want to know. They want to know how they can get better.
And so, if you as a leader can clearly show a path to getting better and focus on that future state, that creates momentum for the person to actually want to change their behavior.
Make it clear. Make it specific. Your direct report wants to get better. You just need to give them a real path for redemption.
Secret #2: The longer you wait, the worse it gets.
Have you ever left milk in the fridge for too long? (Bear with me here). If you have, you know that if you keep it there, it never gets better. It always gets worse, with each passing day… And if you’ve been the victim of coming home from a long vacation, having forgotten to throw it out, you know the impenetrable stench infused into your entire refrigerator.
The same is true of every hard performance conversation: The pain of having the conversation now pales in comparison to the pain later.
Because “later” is when they’ve made an even bigger mistake because you didn’t have the conversation earlier. “Later” is when you’re forced to tell them they’re not the right fit for the role and they feel completely blindsided in being let go.
Think of the milk in the fridge. Never forget the cost of delay.
Secret #3: Your job is to be helpful – not to be nice.
How would you describe your #1 responsibility as a leader? “To support the team” or “To help our team to achieve our goal” are often the most common answers I receive.
Not included is, “Trying to get my team to like me all the time.” And yet, we often postpone, sugarcoat or all together avoid hard performance conversations because we’re terrified of the other person’s reaction – and our lack of control of it.
We must reassert this for ourselves: Above everything else, our job is to be most helpful to our team. Not to be nice. Not to tell people what they want to hear. To be as helpful as possible in the team reaching their goal.
Remember and practice. Remember and practice.
If you can remind yourself of these three secrets, the greater levity and thoughtfulness that you can approach your performance conversations.
Of course, they will not make your performance conversations magically feel jubilant. But these 3 secrets will help you have the most effective conversation – which is always our underlying goal of leaders. To help our team do well.
Remember and practice the following:
Everyone wants redemption. No one wants to be performing poorly. Focus on showing them a path there.
The longer you wait, the worse it gets. Have the conversation today. (You should’ve had it yesterday.)
Your job is to be helpful. Envision how having this conversation is most helpful to your team.
Feel free to revisit these 3 secrets before your next performance conversation. You can repeat them to yourself, almost like mantras, to reminder yourself of how you can can be the best leader possible.
I’ll be remembering and practicing, remembering and practicing, alongside you.
-Claire
✨ For deeper insights on our frameworks on hard performance conversations, be sure to check out our Performance Conversations module in Canopy 🌱
Fallout from not following these steps will be one of my first tasks -- I need to fix a situation that was allowed to escalate until problems erupted and someone got punished. I've watched our new director handle problems immediately, privately, straight -on. It feels strange b/c when I made mistakes, I was corrected and gifted a redemption plan, but this person was not. Hence, favorites were played as well. I'll write these rules up and post them on the wall. I'd like remember and practice.
Maybe it's my personality.
But it might be true of some others too, …
When I receive negative feedback, I will intentionally refrain from responding to that feedback immediately. Out of respect for the "giver," and the risk they are taking by telling me these things, I will wait, think deeply about their comments, take them seriously, and likely have things to discuss about it, … later.
So do we have regular "one-on-one" meetings?
(If not, why not?)
Are those meetings "safe" for clear, honest, open (and not one-sided) discussion?
(If not, why not?)
My later discussion might be about me realizing and accepting a number of my flaws and failures.
And, …
It might be more "complicated" than that.